It has been a while since I have posted anything. Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is over -- I never thought in a million years that I would be glad when Christmas was over. My tree is down and put away, thanks to my daughter and son -in-law, and the rest of the decorations are coming down as I feel like it.
These days have been difficult - I knew they would be... the first holiday season without Arnie. We spent 34 years together and you don't just get over all that instantly - nor do I want to! I appreciate my kids and family, friends, church and neighbors for being there for me.
I have been thinking a lot today about how we know that God hears and answers our prayers. It always makes me sad to hear someone say that they don't pray about anything because they feel that God does not hear or answer their prayers. There are those who believe that if there is no lightning bolt out of the clouds, that God is not answering their prayers. We have to be quiet before God and watch and listen for what He has for us.
Even in the midst of sadness or grief or situations we don't like, we really can find something good and positive. Right now I am looking at being snowed in for the past 2 days and how inconvenient and annoying the snow is, but at the same time, the sky is blue and the snow is a beautiful white as it lays on the ground in formations from the wind and on the tree branches, making unbelievable photo opportunities for those of us who love to shoot pictures of everything.
The fact that Arnie is gone leaves those of us who love him so much in a state of sadness that at times seems completely overwhelming; but at the same time, we realize that he is in heaven - the place that each of us is striving to attain. We should find comfort and peace in knowing that. Philippians 1:21 says..."For to me to live is Christ, and die is gain."
When we pray, we should find our answers from God in the promises from His Word. I also believe that answers to prayer come from those who God has allowed to be part of our lives - those who cross our path. Words printed on a plaque or in a card may be God's way to communicate with us. He uses each of us in unique ways. I feel that in several ways, God has let me know that I need to get on with my life.
I just wanted to share those thoughts. I know that God is in control and that I am living with my grief and through it. I am not in denial. This is difficult - my life has changed forever - I will not be the same, in fact, I am a better person for having had the privilege and honor to be Arnie's wife.
My granddaughter, Kayla, put these words on Facebook shortly after Arnie passed away. I find them to be very meaningful...
"The reality is that you grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same, nor should you be the same; nor would you want to."
Please keep me in your prayers as I try one day at a time, to get on with my life.
