Have not posted anything here for quite some time so I thought maybe I should write something. I always intended this blog to be inspirational or encouraging to all who read it - that was sort of my purpose in starting it way back when. Lately, however, I can not exhibit that attitude.
We have been going through a struggle with this new chemo drug and I am feeling the emotional toll, as Arnie is feeling more of the physical. The side effects seem to be very present which causes us to have to deal with that as well as try to continue on the medication for the cancer.
I find myself dwelling on the thoughts of back when I lost my brother to lung cancer. How vividly I remember receiving that phone call from my brother, Pete, on December 24, 2006 telling me that Ed had passed away. That feeling of loss and grief was so present - that day, which was one of my favorite days because it was Christmas Eve became one of the saddest days of my life.
We have been on this journey since 2007, with a couple of breaks where Arnie was cancer free. To say the least, we are weary! Sometimes I feel that my faith just isn't as strong as it should be - that is on the bad days. There are "okay" days too, where I feel better- mostly because Arnie is having a better day. Sometimes I just feel so helpless and I can admit it -- angry!
We are still going to St. Josephs Mercy in Ann Arbor Michigan. We have an appointment to see a Naturapath here in Toledo on Friday. She has been recommended to us by the Naturapath we saw at CTCA. In fact, CTCA has been in touch with the her and has briefed her on Arnie's condition. Hopefully she will be able to help with suggestions for easing some of the side effects, etc, that Arnie is facing at this time.
Please keep us in your prayers. Prayer is a positive and powerful thing. When people say "all I can do is pray for you", honestly - it is the very best thing anyone can do! We so appreciate the love and prayers of our family and friends. God Bless each of you!
Sharon,
ReplyDeleteYou and Arnie are in our prayers daily. It's sad that the cure can be worse than the illness sometimes. And the mental fatigue can be draining. Arnie looks healthy when we visit, we just pray that he and you can over come this thing that is attacking both of you.
Your in our prayers as always,
Jim & Barb
I am with y-all in prayers and thoughts everyday and asking for this to be over and a cure so Arnie could get some relief and especially you too. God Bless & Love you both Honey lou
ReplyDeleteMom, you guys are in our prayers, as usual, and we love you both very much!!
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